BDSM Safety
By Billy Diaz & Jerome Stuart Nichols
Safety is one third of good BDSM practice. The rest is sane and conSensual. The desire to have consent from our partner(s) is what separates BDSM from abuse. BDSM safety can be broken down into four parts: safe words, limits, communication and not being an asshole; let’s start with safe words.
Safe words
Safe words are the be all and end all of kink play. Literally, safe words are the red light, meaning “cease and desist motherfucker. Do no pass go, do not spank your whore and you damn sure better not collect $200.”
Both dominant and submissive partners can have a safe word. When a safe word is agreed upon, commit it to memory like tomorrow’s winning lottery numbers. BDSM play is the ultimate form of sexual trust; 100 percent respect of the safe word is the ultimate way to show that you’re trustworthy.
Just about any word can be used as a safe word. The list and possibilities are endless. Also, if you usually say “no” in a non-definitive sense, you probably shouldn’t use it as a safe word; you don’t want any confusion.
Limits
When you’re having any type of sex, it’s important to let your partner know what you are and aren’t comfortable with. This is especially true when it comes to BDSM. You don’t want to spank too hard, fist too far or choke too long and end up in a David Caradine situation.
Limits are boundaries, respect them. These can be hard limits – ie "one more step and I’ll cut your little pecker off" – or soft limits, which can be adjusted or negotiated on-the-fly. Discussing limits – before play begins – is an excellent way to make the most of your fun and shows that you care about your partner(s).
If a new partner states, “I don’t know my limits,” do not take that as, “let’s try a bunch of stuff to see what you like/don’t like.” Instead, take it as, “let’s discuss some stuff, try that out and then reevaluate before taking the next step.”
If your partner doesn’t bring up a limit, that doesn’t make it okay to try it without prior discussion. This is learning and growing time, don’t go too far too fast.
Communication
Look, I know it seems simple because every relationship requires communication but – when it comes to BDSM and kink in general – it’s doubly important. In an everyday, casual relationship, bad communication can lead to hurt feelings. In a BDSM situation, bad communication could lead to someone being badly hurt or even killed, in some cases.
Always ask for consent before doing something new. Find out about their tolerance for pain. Find out about their preferences in toys and materials. Even a list of allergies and emergency contacts isn’t a bad idea.
No matter what you do, start slow with light intensity then work your way up. If you’re using a toy for the first time you should always be sure to avoid sensitive areas such as the spine and kidneys. Also, pro-tip: before trying out any rope bondage, g out and grab some EMT safety shears. They’re invaluable, trust me.
Also, don’t be an asshole.
Growing up an only child, I always wanted a Clifford the Big Red Dog-sized canine companion. Sadly, despite my best efforts, I entered into adulthood having unsuccessfully petitioned my mother for such a beast. At 26, however, I became the owner of a 5-foot-10-inch, 240-pound human pup by the name of Bubby.
Although I’ve always considered myself to be closer to vanilla on the kink spectrum, I’ve recently found myself being one kinky motherfucker. It started with a little roughness and led into a sadistic awakening. Now, a little puppy play has led into a budding full-time D/s relationship, and I am super excited.
Bottom line: While Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit isn’t a Christian Grey-type luxury item, it is wholly capable for almost every beginner restraint’s needs. With its high-quality, just-right pricing and simple, everyday kink styling, it should be right at home in your starter playroom.
I recently started dating a poly and kinky woman (T). She is married to her Dominant. They also have a live-in BDSM slave who is owned and collared like myself, but my relationship with T isn’t kinky. In fact, we’re careful to keep our relationship deliberately vanilla. Well, as vanilla as strap-ons and hair pulling can be. Why? Because of boundaries, my darling readers.
This phrase has become a bit of a joke within the kink community, based on individuals making this (grammatically incorrect) statement on kinky social networking sites. The profile where you will find this short, defiant statement will likely also be filled with other “twue” and inflexible declarations about what an awesome Dominate they are.
Proper spelling and grammar aren't required to be a good dominant but it does help! There are definitely more important things and they all come from the inside out.
Initially, I was taken aback by the question, “what does it mean to be a good submissive?” It is a very subjective question and you will get a million different answers from Dominants and submissives alike. So, let me preface this article by saying there is no one way to be a “good” submissive. However, there are steps one can take to ensure the growth and quality of your identity and relationships.
I recently did a Google Hangout interview with the fat femme lesbians of Lesbian Curves: Courtney Trouble, Kitty Stryker, Betty Blac and Cinnamon Maxine. Despite some major sleepiness on my part – we didn’t start recording until 1:36am ET – we had a good fucking time.
In this exclusive interview got to talk about Lesbian Curves 2: Hard Femme, mommy fetishes and Courtney Trouble’s love for April Flores. Betty Blac and Kit
ty Stryker got to discuss what it was like shooting with each other and the differences between Lesbian Curves and Lesbian Curves 2. We also got some juicy inside details on the already-in-production Lesbian Curves 3 from Courtney and Cinnamon soon after shooting the first scene, which stars Cinnamon Maxine and porn legend Syd Blakovich.
Of course, the best thing about rope bondage is the end result. Seeing a lover's body crisscrossed with rope is so-fucking-hot. In my mind, there is nothing more beautiful than a man unburdened of his strength, rendered helpless, bent and bound according to my wishes. Nothing is hotter than a man who is eager to give me control, and nothing turns me on quite like taking it.
When it comes to finding your kinks, fetishes and what turns you on in general, it’s all about experimentation. You’ve got to try lots of different combinations before you’ll find what skeets your jizz.
Normally, when you’re exploring things, you go outside yourself but, in this case, you need to look inside. The one thing you need to know about kinks is that they're all in your head. That means, in order to find them, you've got to get all inception in this bitch.
Whether you’re a dom who’s force feminizing your pretty little sub bitch or a guy who just likes to feel soft and feminine, you know how hard it is to find lingerie that fits a guy’s body. Well, I just stumbled across a store that fixes that problem. HommeMystere is an online store that specializes in men’s hosiery and lingerie for the pretty girl in every man.
The 4th of July is a time to celebrate independence and freedom. What better way to do that than to watch three women shoot fireworks out of their pretty pink assholes? In case you’re wondering: yes, fireworks fetish is a real thing. Some people find the pyrotechnics and loud booms to be just the thing to get their pussies wet.
You love your men tied up in bondage rope, gagged and vulnerable to your every whim? Yeah, so do we. There’s something incredibly sexy about watching your pitiful male sub writhe around helplessly while bound in intricate ropes and knots. The way the ropes keep him so still and vulnerable is enough to warrant a spanking. So, today, we’ve got a collection of pics and gifs of male submissives tied up and ready for their master's use. Enjoy.
You love your women tied up in bondage rope, gagged and vulnerable to your every whim? Yeah, so do we. There’s something incredibly sexy about watching your sexy sub writhe around helplessly while bound in intricate ropes and knots. So, today, we’ve got a collection of pics and gifs of hot chicks tied up and ready for you. Enjoy.
Welcome to Kink Month on LTASEX. This month, we’re going to be taking some time to appreciate and accentuate all those wonderful kinks and fetishes that make sex so much fun. We’ll be talking about kink, fetish, feet, legs, body hair, stockings, heels, ropes, chains and more body fluids than you can probably think of. We’ll also have some awesome guest posts and interviews from and with kinksters from all-over the sex bloggosphere. It's going to be sexy, slutty and fun, as always. ;)
