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All in Social Behavior
I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m American. Well, I was born in China, but for the past 19 out of 20 years of my life, I’ve lived in the United States. Now, I get it--dating is hard. You’re trying to impress me, relate to me, and maybe you’re a bit nervous because of my sparkling personality. Still, nothing turns me off more than you treating me like an outsider. The worst dates I’ve been on always seem to include the casual racism of things like:
When most people think of intimacy, they think only of sex. Really, intimacy is “a close, familiar, and affectionate personal relationship.” It’s connection and energy that create intimacy.
Even the most mundane activities can be intimate when you’re with the right person. These non-sexual activities will make you laugh and feel sexy but most of all bring you closer as a couple.
You snooped or stumbled across evidence your partner has been doing some things they shouldn’t online. You know what you know and you can’t un-know it. Social script dictates that knowing this information, you should righteously flail about spilling piss and vitriol. Instead of behaving like a spiteful demon, why not actually address the problem like an adult.
There are myriad ways to express one’s sexuality and many don’t require sex at all. It’s unfortunate, though, that many of those expressions are vilified as cheating in many relationships. Just because these activities are sexual and intimate doesn’t mean it’s a threat to your relationship. In fact, some are actually pretty good for your sex life and the longevity of the relationship.
As a rule, dating advice is terrible, catchphrase riddled garbage that’s wholly unsuitable for most real world adult dating situations. In truth, most dating advice isn’t even applicable to humans at all. So, instead of rehashing the same old drivel, I thought I’d offer you a couple tips for dating actual people.
A one night stand is (or should be) a simple agreement to use each other’s bodies for pleasure. This once handy tool for sexual gratification and exploration is often soiled by insecurities and performance anxiety. If your one night stands aren’t what they used to be, these guidelines will help get them back on track.
Non-monogamy is an awesome option to the traditional relationship set up. Unfortunately, it’s often brought up as a desperate effort to save a zombified relationship. Let’s get this straight right now: non-monogamy won’t save your relationship, but it could.
One of the biggest obstacles to taking full advantage of an open relationship is actually finding someone who’s cool with your arrangement. To help you find your unicorn, sex and dating sites will help, but only if you use them effectively. If you’re like most newbies, you’re probably making one of these three big mistakes.
Ever since I was a kid, I have loved pop divas. The day after Britney Spears debuted “I’m a Slave 4 U” on the 2001 MTV VMAs, I was in my basement for like 10 hours with my best friend learning all the choreography. Being free to enjoy that facet of my personality is one of the most fun parts about being a gay guy. Having to deal with fellow gays who feel the need to make fun of my passion is one of the least.
I really fucking love hip hop and I also really fucking love sex positivity. If you think the two don’t mix, you’re wrong; from Salt N Pepa’s “Let’s Talk About Sex,” to Akinyele’s “Put it in your Mouth,” hip hop is always bringing sex positivity and liberation to the masses. These days, it’s artists like Kanye West and Drake carrying the torch and promoting ethical non-monogamy, sexual agency and sex positivity. Here are some of the most outspoken.
