There are several topics that I have yet to cover, for various reasons. Usually I think I’m not knowledgable enough, or that my personal biases may sway or impassion my writing in a negative way. Virginity is one of those topics that I felt that I needed more time to stew and formulate my ideas, but I think it’s time.

Before I go any further I would like to make a plea for a change in nomenclature. When you have sex for the first time, you are said to be losing your virginity and the person who “deflowered” you took. Understand this is not a game of Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, drag racing for pinks, nor Casino Royale style poker. You are having sex; nothing is being taken from anyone involved. I know that sex, especially the first time, can make you feel awkward, dirty or ashamed but know that you are doing nothing wrong; your feelings, thoughts, and desires, are all normal things that everyone else has felt in your situation.

No matter how prepared you are when you have sex for the first time you will find yourself confronted with a metric ass-ton (I think that’s the scientific term) of emotions. More than anything else, what can make the largest difference in how you feel afterwards is how well your partner responds to your needs immediately and for the days following. Most people lose their virginity in high school, so it’s not like you really have time to lay around cuddling and talking about what just happened. Especially when you’re terrified your mom is going to come home early from work.  This means that you have to work with what you have to ensure that your experience is the best it can be.