Confession time: I’m writing this drunk as fuck. I’ve had more shots of tequila than I should in five minutes and will take another one every 30 minutes until I’m done or asleep.

What can I say about “50 Shades of Grey?” Well… I’ll be honest, I didn’t hate it. In fact, I kind of liked it. I mean, there’s so… just so much wrong with it. But overall it’s a pretty decent novel. I’m thinking of reading “50 Shades Darker” and “50 Shades Freed.”

At this point in the game, you’re probably already familiar with this mediocre EL James penned “Twilight” fanfiction turned worldwide best-selling BDSM “erotica” and all it failings. Instead of adding to hordes of critics complaining about the boring sex scenes, kiddie time BDSM play, cheesy writing and severe case Mary Sue syndrome, I’ve decided give my thoughts on specific pages that I bookmarked during my reading.

Being that I’ve taken two more shots since I wrote the above words, this should be interesting.