Jun 23

Jun 23 Do you brush your teeth before or after eating ass?

While enjoying my hot shower last night, I also was thinking about all the ways I would molest my boyfriend’s body when I left my steamy cocoon. I was feeling friskier than normal and decided to start my journey to wear him out with a surprise ass eating. After a bit more thinking about that, I found myself in a conundrum: Do I brush my teeth before I eat his ass or after?

Since I’m still able to count on one hand the number of times I’ve performed analingus, this hasn’t been a question I’ve ever really thought about. Even still, it’s important to know.

I thought about the question more and let the shower do its thing. Eventually, I came up with an answer: neither.

In HIV prevention classes, they’ll sometimes suggest that you don’t brush your teeth a couple hours before you plan on giving oral sex. Brushing can cause little cuts in your gums, which makes it easier to get an infection of some sort. Since eating ass is oral sex and the ass has a ton of bacteria that shouldn’t go in your mouth, it’s just smarter to avoid doing it before.

In those same HIV prevention classes, I’ve also heard it suggested that you should avoid brushing your teeth right after, too, for the same reason. So that’s probably not the best idea, either.

If you shouldn’t really brush your teeth for about 2 hours before or after oral sex, then how does one make sure his or her mouth is clean enough to eat ass and their breath fresh enough to still kiss? My solution: mouthwash, peroxide or some other mouth rinse.

Mouthwash isn’t going to cut up your gums but you’ll still get the benefit of a minty exhale. Also, an alcohol-based rinse will even stop the bleeding if you do have cuts in your mouth from food, gingivitis or something else. If you’re planning to go straight to ass eating, this probably is your best bet.

If you don’t have mouthwash, try peroxide or a shot of liquor. Both will kill the bad breath germs in your mouth and help seal any potential cuts. Rinse with clean water or add a little baking soda for extra odor control. Don’t skip the rinsing because peroxide and alcohol shouldn’t go anywhere near the anus — it’s sensitive and will burn like a sumbitch. Also, alcohol breath isn’t much better than bad breath to some people.

Unfortunately, you won’t have the minty freshness with these options, but there shouldn’t be any bad breath problems, either. Since your mouth and most of your face will probably smell like fresh ass afterward, I don’t know that you’ll really notice or care too much.

If that fresh ass smell is undesirable after eating ass, simply wash your face and rinse with one of the options above.

If you absolutely must brush your teeth before, then you definitely should be using a dental damn (plastic wrap works too) as a barrier between your mouth and the ass on your plate. If your mouth is bleeding, it won’t have a chance to even reach the mucus membranes and cause havoc.