I date emotionally unavailable douche bags... constantly. Every relationship is a trip down CVS's feminine product aisle. I'm quirky, intelligent, honest, and considered rather attractive typically by most standards. I'm forward, gregarious, and I enjoy sex and make that clear. Yet I believe a romance should include the ability to speak with one another as human beings without the usage of pet names and declarations of affections. Case in point one recent failure involved a soldier who I began to date before his deployment, waited for him to come home. Returns and decides he no longer wants a relationship... but wants to sleep with me. I find out later he's spoken of our actions in detail to his entire job... down the street from mine. We'd had sex once. To add insult, he has a girlfriend now. I don't feel he owes me an explanation for why he no longer wanted to date me, but the simple kindness of not lying and spreading tales of our private exploits would've been nice. I'm tired and realize that this is my problem who I pick is who I receive. I adore wit, charm, and in all fairness I rarely date anyone unattractive. Does that mean I wouldn't? No it doesn't, it simply means guys like that don't seem interested when I am. I want more than long term fuck ups. Help?
Arianna The Urban Bunny
Arianna... if all the dudes you date ain't worth shit, then maybe you ain't worth shit.
From reading your letter you seem to use a lot of absolutes, never, always etc. Which makes me wonder if you are the type of person who is generally overly emotional to the point where you seem to pantomime some of your behaviors, which may display as emotionally unavailable. People like that tend to go for extremes in the things they like as well. For example maybe you happen to pick absolutely gorgeous men with the absolute worst attitudes that will absolutely fuck you over in the long run.
You say that you enjoy sex and you make that clear, what does that mean? Do you run around in sweat pants that read fuck me? I am actually quite intrigued by the prospect. You also say that the guy you're most recently heartbroken over is a soldier. You waited for him and when he came back he fucked and dumped you. Is this a trend for you? If so those things may be connected with your taste for extremity. If you are driving around town in an ice cream truck playing the song "put it in my mouth" you are going to attract men who only want to do just that.
My advice for you is to stop dating. Before you can get into any relationship you need to solve your own internal issues. I would suggest that, if you can, you seek some sort of counseling. I have a feeling that you may have some other issues you want to talk out. The main goal for you should be to get come down from your highs and find a place in the center where you can be happy, sexy, and loved so that you can do some loving too.
Keep it sexy,
Jerome
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